Jun 16 2009
What kind of wisdom pushes you in your choice of love partners?
Often it’s a wisdom that doesn’t always meet the eye. In fact on the surface, it may seem like the two of you are so different that you’ll not even be able to make it. But, with a full commitment to the totality of love — it’s those very same differences that will not only fertilize your love, keeping your lives vital and always changing, but will also spur you to greater personal growth. Continue reading “The Magic Wisdom of Love”
Jun 16 2009
Rather than limiting romance to things like expecting flowers or hoping she’ll seduce you aftet dinner, you can find romance almost anywhere when you look for it. Actually, anything that bonds your loving partnership more fully is a measure of real romance.
Yet all too often, rather than joining forces, both people vie for superiority, wrangle for control, spend most of their time trying to get more, more and ever more! And it’s too often money that’s used to divide and conquer rather than unite and prosper.
Instead, what if you started saving money, even if it’s only “play money” at first? Then you can use your joint efforts to support your desire for more fun and enhance the love you share.
One of our fun joint ventures is the “Helens’ Spring-Off” savings account we started before we were married. Both of our mothers’ names are Helen. We wanted a cash account for fun stuff — to spring off into lighter activities. So we got a big jug and we throw in our loose change, coins we find on the street, miscellaneous checks — like residuals from our old tv and movie work (the checks are often of the $14.86 variety!), birthday money and other odds and ends. We even toss in the difference between the regular price and the sale price for stuff we get at a bargain but would have paid the full amount if we had to.
We love seeing the money add up and we both enjoy contributing! We also relish the trips we take, or the fun antique we find while traveling — paid for with our play money in our Helens account!
If saving money together isn’t a fun idea, what fun venture can you create that you will both enjoy doing together — something that benefits each of you AND your relationship? Maybe you’ll become a work-out team and every time one of you doesn’t adhere to the schedule, then that person has to ????? — what? Make sure the “punishment” is as endearing as you can.
There’s no limit to the team efforts you can create that will both increase your intimacy, and also improve the future of your life together. And you can discover much more about your team effort when you read Opening to Love 365 Day a Year.
Jun 16 2009
No matter how much two people have in common, they will always be different in significant and in tiny ways. The question is—do you feel free to speak up and deal with issues that bug you, hurt you, scare you when your partner behaves in ways you don’t like? Or are you afraid that speaking up will threaten your relationship?
If you fear that speaking up will make a problem too huge to resolve, then you are voting for your fear and your lack of value. Do you get that? Your fear won’t let you engage in a discussion about changes that you want (and we ALL want some changes in the course of a long term relationship) and you are insisting that you aren’t worthy of having a voice—only your partner is to be valued! Continue reading “The Antique Carpet Runner”
Jun 10 2009
Where do you find love and intimacy?
This may surprise you but they are waiting in a place you probably haven’t considered—in the differences between you and your partner, you and your date.
The truth is, differences make up the heart and soul of long term romance. They are the ground of individual discovery and mutual growth. They offer deep and abiding passion.
To recognize, respect, and value the differences between you and someone you love will bring spiritual fulfillment that can be achieved in no other way.
When you open to the treasure of differences—a treasure that is right in front of you—there is a payoff. You’ll realize what it’s like to be loved for who you really are.
True intimacy is about being who you are, your strengths and weaknesses, your ambitions and insecurities, your passions and prayers—hiding nothing, eager, open, and willing to be known.
But what about the other person? Your friend? Date? Lover? Mate? Continue reading “Intimacy - It’s in the Differences”
