Romantic Date Ideas + Advice for Serious Relationships

Looking For Love Partner Online?

Romantic IQ — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 05:16:21 +0000

You’re single. You’re lonely. And you’re fed up with the dating games that nearly everyone plays. So you decide to look for your special love partner online.

But how do you go about finding the right type of dating site? Lots of dating sites are expensive so you don’t want to join up with a bunch of them at the expense of your wallet. And lots of them cater to people with values that don’t match who you are.

So what do you do?

When you’re looking for love and romantic relationship online, and you’re serious about not playing a bunch of dating games yourself, you have to be cautious and careful. You’ll want to join a dating site that caters to people who hate all that dating game stuff - like all the people who lie about their age, their weight, their marital status — all that kind of thing.

You’re going to want to join singles sites that attract more conscious singles, people who are interested in smart dating, dating with self-respect and respect for those they meet and date.

And it’s even better if you can join dating sites that are free. That way you can join several sites, check them out, and do no harm to your wallet.

Then you’ll want to be as honest and as specific as you can be in your own profile in order to stand in your own integrity— AND attract the right kind of person who is looking for you.

Also, make sure you have important and serious questions you want to ask prospective partners who reach out to you online. That way you encourage their honesty and their integrity right from the start — and you establish that you’re only interested in a serious, grounded relationship with a love partner who wants the same thing!

For a Free Singles Site devoted to supporting you with Free Smart Dating Gifts when you join, be sure to create your profile at LoveLife Express.

Looking for Love and Meeting Online

Romantic IQ — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 05:10:34 +0000

Many successfully romantic couples, whether married now or not, met through an online singles site. They were looking for love and found relationship success through the many steps involved in moving from being strangers looking for love and viewing each other’s online profile to eventually deciding to join together as a loving couple.

The question is, how did they do it? How did they know what to look for? How did they know what steps to take to assure that they weren’t fooling themselves, ending up disappointed and lonely again?

To assure that you’ve found your perfect love partner when meeting online, follow these romantic ideas for couples in love:

Face into your conflicts so that you can trust your mutual ability to esolve your differences in ways that benefit each of you and your relationship
Remain curious about each other, that way you never get bored and real romance is in any moment you connect
Generously express your appreciation, your care, your affection, your joy in knowing the one you love, that way you avoid taking each other for granted. And you move your relationship deeper and deeper into the shared heart space that will keep you joyously and romantically together forever.

While these tips for creating real romance apply to meeting online or off, they aren’t what most people think about when they are looking for love online and going forward in the process of seeing what kind of future is possible.

Practice the emotional skills needed to create a healthy, happy marriage while you are dating and that will insure you’ll meet the right kinds of people and eventually find the one that’s right for you.

If this article resonates with you then you’ll meet the right kind of people at Love Life Express. Check it out. It’s Free!

Watch Out for Internet Dating Dangers

Romantic IQ — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 05:07:21 +0000

Most people who sign up at dating websites are usually clueless about Internet dating dangers — whether they pay to join an Internet dating service or it’s a totally free Internet dating site — it doesn’t make the experience any safer if you don’t know what to watch out for.

So, be on the look out for these common Internet dating dangers:

1) People who lie in their profiles

Research has proven that men lie about their height, weight, marital status, age and income. Women lie most about their weight and their age.

How to Protect Yourself —

Do not automatically believe anyone’s written profile AND do not trust their photograph (which may be decades old or even belong to someone else)

If you become seriously interested in someone and you’re ready to meet in person but you want to avoid any shock:

Ask for a video skype call so you can see each other in advance of physically meeting \
And ask to speak with a friend who can vouch for the facts of the other person’s profile

2) People who aren’t single

Do not automatically assume because someone is a member of a singles site that they are actually single. You want to have a good Internet dating match, and determining that the other person is actually single (or at least in the process of getting a divorce) is part of your growth process as you gain confidence in your ability to take your time and patiently get the information you need before you leap into something that could be hurtful.

3) People who are just players when you want a serious Internet dating match

Make sure to be up front in your email messages and phone calls that you want to find a serious relationship and you’re only interested in spending your time with people who have the same Internet dating match goal. Listen very carefully for any resistance to your comments and go forward only if you believe that you’re getting a solid response that matches what you are looking for.

One of the blessings of totally free Internet dating sites is you can practice being honest and curious, gaining more solid emotional and conversational skills, without it costing you a dime!

That’s why we, Judith Sherven, PhD and Jim Sniechowski, PhD, bestselling relationship authors and a married psychology team, provide free Dating Smart advice gifts when you join our totally free Internet dating site Love Life Express.

Bad Dating Advice Made Worse Online

Romantic IQ — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 05:03:00 +0000

Internet dating sites and especially free Internet dating sites are gaining in popularity as men and women of all ages become more and more frustrated with meeting the right kinds of people in their everyday lives.

Yet one of the key problems you encounter with online dating is that it too often starts off with your basic Internet dating introduction — that was generated according to some kind of dating profile advice that tells men and women to be less than truthful.

So what are you going to do to protect yourself?

Follow these three examples of good dating profile advice.

First, be honest. Trust the truth of your own value. That sets up the potential for a solid Internet dating introduction that can turn into something permanent.

There’s no point in following the bad profile advice that’s so common out there that you should put on a false impression. That’s a waste of your time and everyone who connects with you.

And, most important, it tells you to reject yourself before ever meeting anyone. Don’t do it.

Second, be uniquely you. Stand out from the crowd by highlighting the special qualities, interests, hobbies, values, and even employment or career that sets you apart. No point in being modest or shy about who you are — that’s what you have to attract the right partner - You! So put yourself right out there.

This way you stand on the solid ground of truth. And you invite Internet dating introductions from only people who are attracted to who you really are. Now you are way ahead in the process of meeting someone who will have the potential to be a life partner.

Third, have fun creating your profile. Put your spirit, your humor, your unique character into your writing so the reader can get a feeling for who you are.

How someone feels about your online dating profile is more important than what they think. So try to write your profile from feeling rather than brain power.

When you use this positive and self-affirming dating profile advice you stand firm in who are and you attract only those who will be interested in who you really are.

And to make it even easier for you to have good Internet dating introductions, join the only online dating site catering to Conscious Singles who are looking for a truly meaningful romantic future that provides free membership and free Smart Dating advice materials to welcome you. It’s LoveLifeExpress.com When you do, you start off dating smart in full support of who you really are!

Judith Sherven, PhD and Jim Sniechowski, PhD are a husband and wife psychology team and the best selling authors of 5 relationship books and the co-founders of LoveLifeExpress.com With Jae Jans and Andrea Segovia, the happily married parents of two little girls, both couples are committed to passing along the secrets to their marital happiness to members of LoveLifeExpress.

3 Keys to Successful Dating on Singles Sites

Romantic IQ — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 04:55:57 +0000

Let’s face it, no one receives solid, effective love relationship advice - whether it’s for successful dating or for long lasting marriage. So when you go online and try to meet the right kinds of people on singles sites it can feel like you are more lost than ever.

But you don’t need to!

Here are 3 Keys to Successful Dating on Singles Sites

1) Ignore the Dating Games - Tell the Truth

If you are tempted to lie - whether it’s about your age, weight, your relationship history, income or anything else - you’re voting for your belief that you’re not really eligible to look for love with someone really terrific. Instead, you’re lying reinforces that you’ll accept the attentions of someone who’s drawn in by your facade - and then you can only feel even more alone and frustrated. When meeting people online always tell the truth in your profile and in your responses to those people who contact you.

2) Know What Type of Love Partner You’re Looking For

When you create your profile, be specific about qualities you’re looking for in your love partner - beyond age and height and whether or not they need to live in your geographical area. If spirituality is important say so. If you don’t want to have children, say so. If you need to have someone who has never been married before, say so. Whether you’re meeting online or off, don’t waste your time and energy or anyone else’s when there’s no possible future between you.

3) Meeting Online and Then Meeting Safely Offline

After you’ve exchanged numerous emails with someone you find interesting, you’ll move on to several extensive phone calls. If you’re still interested, you’ll want to meet in person. And now you need to practice a few rules of successful dating, which are the rules of smart dating. You’ll want to meet in a neutral and public place, like a Starbuck’s. No fancy restaurants that can lead to overcharged fantasies. No meeting at either of your homes which could be dangerous. And you’ll want to make sure you both pay for your own travel and/or refreshments. That way you focus on meeting each other as separate and mature adults, rather than Prince Charming and Cinderella, in order to determine if you want to continue seeing each other and you don’t confuse the get-together with a romantic and/or sexual encounter.

When you follow these 3 keys to successful dating on singles sites, you’ll be smart, safe, and successful in keeping yourself grounded and going forward only if you have sincere and conscious reasons to.

Love Life Express is a new and Free Singles Site devoted to supporting you with Free Smart Dating Gifts when you join. Be sure to create your profile at Love Life Express.

The Dangerous Price of Preferring Fantasy

Romantic IQ — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 05:48:33 +0000

Romantic fantasies, like drugs and alcohol, offer the hope of getting what you believe you can’t get on your own. Also like drugs they are temporary and never ultimately satisfying. When the spell dissolves, you’re lost in the pit of heartbreak, shortchanged by life yet again.

On the other hand, when fantasy is not a substitute for reality, it can be a playful source of pleasure. You can slip beyond the limits of daily life and play in a make-believe world. . . You get to go anywhere, be anyone and experience anything you like. However, enjoying romantic fantasies is one thing. Preferring them over reality is quite another. That’s a crucial distinction.

When you expect your fantasy to come true in reality, bitterness and recrimination will routinely be part of the package. Remember, reality can be overwhelmed when it has to compete with the perfection of fantasy. When reality fails, disappointed love often turns vicious.

Have you ever physically or emotionally hurt someone just because she or he failed to match your dream of the perfect lover?
Have you ever suffered the failure of not living up to someone else’s dream image of the perfect love?

We ask these questions during our trainings, and, without exception, the majority of both men and women confess they have experienced both sides of this problem. Chances are, you have too.

Then, when a real life relationship makes its inevitable demands, you shrink from a feeling of personal inadequacy, afraid you won’t be
enough, afraid you will come up short.

The trance of romance is deadly. When we’re caught, we reject what is, preferring what “should be.”

Leave deadly fantasy behind. Read Be Loved for Who You Really Are.

Make Your Wedding Truly Memorable

Romantic IQ — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 05:40:55 +0000

We know you want your gown to be gorgeous, your flowers beautiful, and your party joyous, and they will be.

But will your guests — will you — remember those things several weeks later?

As disappointing as this may seem, that’s not what people will be talking about even the day after.

Nor is it what you’ll be talking about over dinner together on your first wedding anniversary.

It’s your unique ceremony, your special vows, your creative personal touches that will make your wedding unlike any other. That’s what will make your wedding exceptional and truly memorable. That’s what people will talk about for months afterwards.

Why?

Because they will have been touched. They will have been moved by the depth of your heartfelt commitment, your vulnerable, emotionally sweet connection.

So, what feels right for you?

What will express your special love, publicly demonstrating the real romance you share?

Perhaps you’d like to write secret love letters to each other and read them during your ceremony.
You might want to share some of your favorite memories of each other from the early weeks of your budding love.
Your vows could include a few reasons why you love each other.

When you express your unique one-of-a-kind love in front of those who’ve come to witness your transformation into a new life, it reinforces their certainty that you know what you are doing, and you are ready for marriage.

That’s the kind of teary-eyed joy your guests want to feel about you and your future together.

And those are the kinds of treasured memories you and your guests will talk about for years to come.

If you’re ready for a wedding guide that honors both bride and groom and gives you permission to create the wedding of your dreams from engagement through the honeymoon, we invite you to read The Smart Couple’s Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams.

8 Tips for the Recovering Romantic (Who is Part of a Couple)

Romantic IQ — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 17:56:46 +0000

Chances are you never thought you needed to be rescued from romance.

In fact, you probably feel you need more romance in your life, not less.

The truth is that most hearts are broken in the painful difference between the possibility of real romance and the insistence on the fantasy of romance — with the real thing taking the loss.

Here are a few tips to help protect you from the ravages of romantic fantasy.

1. Avoid comparing your spouse to some perfect ideal, especially when it’s the “right” way to do things — your way. She or he will always flunk the unpassable test of your secret check list.

2. When you feel critical of your mate, check yourself out. What’s your intention? Do you want to be helpful and caring? Or are you just trying to control the situation and get your partner to more closely match your fantasy?

3. Don’t confuse “having sex” with “making love.” There’s nothing wrong with either one. But no amount of candles, wine and Quincy Jones will turn sex into real romance. Sex for the sake of sex can be frolicking fun. But making love only occurs when you are open and present, from the deepest reaches of who you really are.

Whatever you do, if you’re feeling unloved or not getting enough attention, don’t look to sex to take care of your frustration. Sex is very powerful, but it’s no substitute for the open expression of your needs and concerns.

4. Guard against the very dangerous belief that if you’re having difficulty with your partner that means your relationship is in trouble. More than likely it means your relationship needs a tune-up and oil change. Only in romantic fantasy does everything go smoothly without attention, care and change.

When there’s difficulty, honestly air your feelings. Identify the problems. Work toward a mutually satisfactory resolution.

5. Pay close attention to the ways in which you feel you’re not full partners in your marriage — not sharing household responsibilities equally, planning and finances in particular. Bring to the table your feelings that your mate is not pulling his or her load or that you’re being left out of certain aspects of your life together.

These power differences are often clues that one or both of you are living out some romantic fantasy that keeps you stuck in sex role stereotype(s) rather than building your relationship from the real life contributions you both have to offer.

6. Beware anytime you focus on your spouse’s physical flaws as a reason to fall out of love. You’re comparing her or him with your ghostly lover. If it’s something you sincerely want to see changed, like weight or hairstyle, speak up. Explain why you want what you want.

7. Be suspicious if you compare your status and wealth to others. That puts your partner in a very bad light. You also devalue who and what you are. Love and relationship are not based on commodities.

8. Beware when you criticize your partner for selecting “such a stupid gift,” rather than acknowledging the thought and care that went into it. Appreciate what we call the “small kindnesses” you do for one another.

A small kindness is not merely a nice gesture. It’s a gift of consciousness.

For instance, say you and your partner both like pears. You like them refrigerated and he or she likes them room temperature. You go to the market and buy six pears. You then put three of them in the refrigerator and three on the counter. Doesn’t sound like much. But, when you are aware of what you are doing, you are consciously respecting and cherishing your partner, yourself and your relationship. Consciously give each other one small kindness a day and watch your relationship thrive and grow.

Andfor ideas about daily small kindness read our book Opening to Love 365 Day a Year. It’s jam packed with romantic ideas most people never even imagine.

8 Tips for the Recovering Romantic (Who is Single)

Romantic IQ — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 16:23:47 +0000

Chances are you never thought you needed to be rescued from romance. In fact, you probably feel you need more romance in your life, not less. The truth is that most hearts are broken in the painful difference between the possibility of real romance and the insistence on the fantasy of romance — with the real thing taking the loss. Here are a few tips to help protect you from the ravages of romantic fantasy.

1. Beware the person who comes on too fast. Chances are she or he is “in love with love,” not you. There is no such thing as intimacy at first sight.

2. Pay special attention to needing instant chemistry or to fall for “your type.” You’re probably caught up in the challenge of conquering someone who’s not very available.

3. Avoid creating romantic scenarios during early dates. Don’t play sexy music. Stay away from darkly lit, elegant restaurants. Wait awhile before giving gifts or flowers. Find out who you’re with and whether you’re really interested.

4. Hold off on sex, even kissing. If your relationship proves to be real, there’ll come a time when loveplay actually means something. Don’t confuse heat with heart.

5. This one may be difficult, but it works in the long run. Abandon the Prince Charming- Helpless Damsel ritual of the man being the one to call, ask for the date, plan and pay. Both women and men now have jobs and money, telephones and driver’s licenses. One of the best ways to protect against the traps of false romance is to make dating an equal opportunity event. Share the asking, planning, paying and even driving. Then you’re both on equal footing as competent, available adults — rather than a powerful man and the little lady who’s waiting by her phone.

6. Avoid trying to entertain or impress your family, friends and acquaintances with stories about your dates. The drama of the story can confuse your perception of what really happened.

7. If you’ve just started dating someone, and you’re fantasizing about what marriage with her or him would be like, stop. That’s only make-believe and will keep you off-balance in reality.

8. Go on non-romantic dates – walks in the park, sports events, charity fundraisers, museums or bookstores. The point is to get to know what your date is like in his or her real life.

If you’re serious about dating, join our FREE dating site at Love Life Express and get FREE Smart Dating guidane to assure your dating will be successful every time.

What If Your Relationship Could Be. . .?

Romantic IQ — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 16:03:55 +0000

Imagine—the richest relationship you could ever have. What would that be like?

Envision—a relationship in which conflicts, even fighting, don’t drive you apart but deepen the connection between you.

Picture—the sheer joy of discovering a love that thrives on the ordinary experiences of everyday life and is more passionate and spiritually satisfying than your most lavish fantasy.

Trust—you can keep romance alive no matter how long you are together!

Is that a relationship you want?

Not only is a love like this possible, but it’s available to you right now. All you have to do is be willing to change your mind.

Consider the Following:

What if you and your partner were freely and lovingly open to the differences between you?

It’s easy to love what’s familiar. But when you open to the ways your partner is not you, and your partner does the same, that’s the gift of differences—to be loved for who you really are!

What if you could find the most sincere intimacy at the heart of your differences?

You get to know more about yourself and one another as you grow together.

What if your relationship could reveal the source of a larger future than you’ve yet imagined?

What each of you brings to your relationship that is different from what you both already know provides you with the opportunity to learn. That automatically creates a larger future than you could have imagined or created alone.

What if your conflicts could be a source of support and security, rather than the kiss of death?

In every conflict, each of you has some different piece of the truth. In a productive conflict, you have to recognize and appreciate your own truth as well as your partner’s and come to a resolution that benefits both of you.

What if your differences could be the doorway to spiritual growth and mutual fulfillment?

Spiritual growth is about becoming more and more conscious, about a genuine regard for the differences that make others who they are. That leads you to a deeper sense of connection and appreciation for the rich diversity of all of life.

What if you could have a continually changing yet completely committed love?

It’s essential that you embrace the reality of change. Otherwise you will stifle if not cut off the emotional bond and spiritual energy between you and your partner. Then you’ll become bored, and your love will die.

What if you and your partner were sure you could create an intimate, loving relationship?

Your relationship would be like a work of art, an expression of each of you individually, of the two of you together, and of the oneness you share when you let your love lead.

When you take the time to understand and explore these keys to lasting love, your exploration can be a source of new intimacy for you—both of you—an intimacy that allows you to Be Loved For Who You Really Are.